Sept. 11 is a day that gives me mixed feelings. Usually I’m fairly numb to the ceremonies of remembrance an the media storm that surrounds the day but this year I was angered by everything.

See, I was in New York on Sept. 11.

It was my first trip to New York (a city that I have always been intrigued by and couldn’t wait to visit) and I was there working on a concert tour. I was so excited and overwhelmed by everything already. We were staying at the Hilton in Times Square which was across from the venue that the concert was going to be at. I was up that morning getting dressed to go run some errands with the show’s stylist and I was watching Good Morning America when everything happened.

Thank goodness I had the initial presence of mind to call my mom as soon as everything happened because not long afterwards, the phones were useless. The lines were tied up on cell phones and land line phones. the only things that really worked were two way pagers. It was one of the loneliest times I’d ever experienced. I was up there with people who weren’t my family and that I hadn’t known for long. They were nice people but when there is a major crisis going on, I want to be surrounded by familiar people. I was pretty much alone with my Stephen King novel, Dreamcatcher.

Myself and some people who were also up there for the concert were able to catch a ride on a party bus that had been sent up from Atlanta with some people from New York on it. Since the planes were grounded, this was the only way we could get home.

10 years later, I still haven’t really dealt with the day and how it made me feel and how subsequent things that have happened since made me feel either. But this year, I felt like the “coverage” of Sept. 11 was bordering on inappropriate. I know it was the 10 year anniversary but it started to feel like the day was being commercialized. People seemed to think they needed to be sad to properly honor the day and everyone was scrambling to share their Sept. 11 stories.

I understand the gravity of the day and what it represents but I don’t think I will be very happy if I start seeing Sept. 11 greeting cards.

That would be too much.