I was browsing Craigslist looking for work. In spite of the potentially scary nature of some of the ads, I have actually found some great legitimate opportunities on there. So I tend to scan it daily, especially when I’m actively looking for work. Well this evening I was doing my Sunday browse and I came across two interesting ads. Enjoy!

Ad #1

Female Tour Guide (City of Atlanta)

Will be in Atlanta next weekend, looking for hopefully hott! guide to show us the city nite life. All expenses paid for next friday night and saturday, leaving sunday. Must be exceptional looking and comfortable in a short skirt. Pay is $1000.00. Please send picture or video if available. Thanks so much.

Ad #2

Writer Wants Literary Friend to Attend Events (all GA)

Simple: I’m a writer who wants a cool person to attend literary events with. (Such as the DBF, writers’ conferences, and those things the Margaret Mitchell House is always having.) I find it easier to network with a wing-person, and so might you… we can avoid those nobody’s-talking-to-me moments and probably have a much better time together than we would alone.

Makes no difference to me if you’re male, female, gay, straight, black, white, whatever. Well, that’s a lie… actually a nice white gay man would be awesome, but if you’re something other than that, contact me anyway! I’ll be open-minded! If anything I’d say please do not be a PTA mom who has written a Christian romance, and please do not be one birthday away from the nursing home.

I myself am a MWF, 43, conservative looking (meaning no tats, piercings, etc.). I live in an unfortunate suburb outside the perimeter. I’m short and chubby, so if you’re too sexy to be seen with a fat person I guess I’ll just have to miss out on you. However, to make up for my detriments, you may find that I am fairly well connected in the world of Southern lit.

Please be ready to drink, cuss, and bond with me over snarky criticisms of anybody who’s more attractive and successful than we are.