Well since you’re checking out my blogspace, I figure I can start running my theories by you. I have tons of them. I am a consummate observer of the world. As I’ve gotten older, I have made it a point to tune in more to my intuition and that little voice in my head. Well I’ve noticed a pretty common phenomenon that makes me further understand why many people think that men and women can’t be “just friends”.
Ok, I’m sure everyone has either had one or been one. You meet someone who’s very cool. You two get along very well. This person can be only mildly attractive or out right gorgeous. The relationship may or may not start off as a romantic one but it eventually turns into a friendship.
Now initially you may think that this is cool. You met a cool person that turned into a good friend. Wrong!
What you have done is fed into a very common phenomenon. Instead of having friends, guys have “fan clubs” and ladies have “dicks in a glass”. Basically what this amounts to is someone who you keep in your life that can turn into a romantic situation at any time. All it takes is for you to make the suggestion and your friend turns into more than a friend. I call them fan club members for guys because they tend to be your biggest cheerleader. All they want is for you to be happy (even if it’s not with them) because they care so much. I call them dicks in a glass for women because it’s like an emergency boyfriend. All you have to do is break the glass and you have a man.
Now there is nothing wrong with this type of friend but they must be recognized for what they are. They also must be recognized because if you have decided that they will never become a significant other, they will always pose and issue when you do get into a relationship with someone else. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will sense the vibe and immediately dislike the person and unfortunately you may have to decrease your interaction with this person in order to keep your relationship going in a positive direction. The problem comes when you are determined to keep this “friend” in your life despite of any other relationship you may attempt to have. Another problem is when people have multiple people in this position. If you meet someone who is cool that you don’t want to date, you are not obligated to make them your friend. Some people don’t need to be major fixtures in your life.
Now I have nothing against fan club members or dicks in a glass but you don’t need a brood of them around you. Evaluate your male/female relationships and determine who is a true blue friend and who’s a fan club/dick in a glass. Then keep those people in mind when you meet “the one” and want to have a relationship. You may have to cut them off or reduce your contact with them.